Rainbows, Lightning, and Howls

Randomness -

"When there's lightning - it always bring me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found
I cry for magic - I feel it dancing in the light
But it was cold - I lost my hold
To the shadows of the night"

Dio - "Rainbow in the dark". Makes me think of the demons I hold at bay - mania, hate, pain, love, joy, destruction, visions of death. But there's a rainbow reflecting in the distance, light spectruming off the dirty water we call rain - beauty in ugliness. But nothing truly there - tenuous, only because we see it - so faith must come from me, only me, not from some glowing insubstantial ether out in the distance that is lit by the destructive forces of energetic clouds.

But it brings joy to coyote - an explosive chance to learn more wrong ways, howl in ecstatic, maniacal exhilarating freedom of the pressure being released the easiest, best way for me physically - going boarder line insane and not feeling in control - being on that small raft in a 1000 year old hurricane on an all water planet. But the most sane, safe way socially? Snip - snip, nick, nick, bleed a little more for me. "Bark at the moon" - except on the nights with a full moon, because I just might go into that full bestial possession of the base motivations stuck at the top of my spinal column.

Random manic music thoughts is all....

Peace? No, but lost in a chaotic balance of my own creation and existence, so perhaps a sliver of utopia?