08 February 2007

That one hellish lady from work....

I have a situation here at work which puts me through some heavy stress. There is a lady here, who by all interpretations I can come up with, seems very frustrated with me. I wouldn't worry, except she is a supervisor.
There are things like how here mood changes from positive to more negative when talking to me, she seldom smiles, and constantly seems frustrated. She also walks by me a lot, and I know occasionally she catches me taking small breaks from working. With what I do most of the time, I am starting a cycle of data review or entry every few minutes. A few times an hour, I will go to the Internet (which we are allowed to do on breaks) to go to Google, call up Hotmail, or something, and I honestly spend only about 30 seconds or so.
My rates are always considered good to excellent, too. Maybe they could be better, but isn't a more efficient and aware mentality better than a distracted brain all the time? With her son having Asperger's, I thought there might have been a better understanding. Maybe she is just fed up with it all - here and at work.

I did find out that a several years ago a lady here in the department died, before the link between Tylenol and Moai's (? is that right) was fully understood. Her bipolar disorder was so sever, she had to change med's 2 - 3 times a year, and usually took off up to a week to help the balance to occur before she came back. So at least the manager and two other supervisors understand a bit.
It may not even be as bad as I am perceiving, but it still adds to the high level of stress - especially when I feel that I am being 'hawked' over, constantly evaluated. Whether it's just working, or asking questions, I get the impression I will just never be at an acceptable level of operation for her. Hell, even asking the question I get this feeling of frustration of how can I be asking this when it was already explained... But so many of the explanations here are partial. "do this most of the time except when this happens". Okay. Then several days or weeks later, I found out that "THIS" actually has This part 1 and This part 2... if I am only told of one situation, and that there aren't other situations of deviations, how do I know to ask when? Asking if there are any other similar situations doesn't always get an answer either - there seems to be no consistency some times, and these "SOP's" they have on how to do things are several generations old. So they don't help, either.

Add to that my OCD outline/if-then psychology to it, and it becomes a very frustrating mess of confusing and contradictory actions to me.

Add more stress, makes more breaks to forget and relax (or because I'm becoming more manicy in a mixed state) and the cycle worsens and starts over again.


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These are the thoughts and feelings as they happen. The subject matter and verbage may be of a more mature nature, and may be considered sensitive by some. In respect for that, I shall try to remember to give headers (with some space before post) and attempt to just "suggest" sensitive verbage.

Peace, Blessings, I hope this can help some.