im rapidly crashing.  depressed.  don't want to go back to work in cold for two weeks.  need a definite lay off date.  need to get unemployment going.  check on my uncle.  go to kc and call my parents.  feeling lonely.  isolated.  out of controll with my hormones.  feel so weak willed.  a failure - useless to society.  burden to it, dragging it down more than the stupidly self-perpetuating ignorant portion of humanity.  such a hypocrit, so filled with hubris the great heros would stand in awe.  why do i keep smelling soap?  like omi's?  am i halucinating again?  great, another fucked up time.  just need to crash.  and my mood is fluctuating between happy, neutral, and overwhelmed melencholy at a rapid pace.  mmm the cake and ice cream and cola soda maybe???  stoopid me.  okay, well, almost done, might as well finish it...
then double crash, and enjoy that sliver of peace -

{dreaming it was more of a planet sized chunck}

of death - known as sleep...