31 January 2010

just a second, have to get my room-mates dog.

The last couple of days have been very motionally extreme and obscene.  I have been trying to get ready for a trip at the last minute.  2 days before I couldn't go, the option finally happened.  So I've been running around a lot lately.  Stressing out, for no other reason than I want to hurry to be ready.  An amazing amount of stress.  I become really aggitated if there is an interuption in the flow of things.  It makes it harder to focus and remember what to pack, what I have packed, etc.
Then the stress of finally recieving the money last week (my unemployment credit card) and trying to catch up on bills (which I still have 2 to do).  Keeping all of that straight.  AAAARRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Of course, this anguish, this anxiety, comes out very uncontrolled.  People thinking it's in response to them, when it's just been building up.  Food beomes an issue - ust the simple ned of hunger doesn't exist.  Eating is next to impossible, and when you do, you stomach is quesy.  But you can feel the need for energy.  Subtle shakes while you're feeling nauseous.
Guilt of leaving you guys alone to long...  It's been several day, I know.  I appologize!!
Am getting so excited about the trip - sweats, tension, anxiety.  The adrenaline thing?  And I'll probably crash as soon as I'm in the car....  Silly Boy!
Looking at some more stuff, will blog about how trip makes me feel later.  Going to have to wait till about 6:00 tonight.  Yuk

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These are the thoughts and feelings as they happen. The subject matter and verbage may be of a more mature nature, and may be considered sensitive by some. In respect for that, I shall try to remember to give headers (with some space before post) and attempt to just "suggest" sensitive verbage.

Peace, Blessings, I hope this can help some.