22 April 2010

I Want Stressors... I Want Stressors...

Tired.  bedy bye bye.  will type more tomorrow.  have a talk to really work hard on too.  got to get up in 3 1/2 hours, call LDW for wake up call. aint gonna make it. gotta plug in other phone, find it before i forget.  forgotten to take straterra for sooooooo long ive just noticed tonight.  gotta make sure consistant with depakote for about 5 days and get my blood work.  enter bills.  unload rocks.  do the talk... will just have to sleep...
stress has been insaine lately, and so many heartaches around me in my world, in mine and my friends families.  gotta call parents tomorrow.  yikes.  really need to find the phone.  surgries for my dad.  good thing i can type with my eyes closed.  this is really heavy work right now... phone. and finances, going back for at least 6 months.  Work.  Not sticking to my schedule, procrastinatin... More than I ever have in my life these last few months....running on empty, things unknotting as i didn't even realize they did or how much or what they were now.... hate old past oom mate.  shorted me bad... fucked me over, assinine, mooching self centered unmotivated foollk. hear that skeet?  figgure out who I am?
still feeling aggressive.  was cool, but let something sneak out when I had to pull out savings because of ass roomie not wanting to work, mooching (like up until confrontation, a couple of meals a week), mooching brother, let someone out.  someone only to protect family and friends... the one that makes the line, MY line.  no, i won't play your i wannna be alpha dog bull shit, i don't care.  DONT FUCK WITH THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE, MY FAMILIES.  It is our safe zone, and I will ensure it with all of the paranoid, pre-defense, angry 4th generation military waiting to let that demon play and have the biggest smile it could with those mere mortals of flesh and blood... heh... yes, i know, just more proof.  but it is there.  i bet you have a bit of one, however tiny, relative to your main mood.  maybe even a big one.  im willing to admit it? are you? or are you scared and hide in denial and pretend you something in th mob of sheep?

well, anyway, I guess you can see where some of the stress lies.  finances... lazy inconsiderate people....knots appearing where they can't, they shouldn't, and releasing themselves...

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These are the thoughts and feelings as they happen. The subject matter and verbage may be of a more mature nature, and may be considered sensitive by some. In respect for that, I shall try to remember to give headers (with some space before post) and attempt to just "suggest" sensitive verbage.

Peace, Blessings, I hope this can help some.