I have a friend who tells me they can't understand suicide because everything always gets better, and there is always worse things he can think of. While this is true, it gets warped inside my head, and the depression becomes worse as I think about it.
When so depressed as to contemplate suicide, it is a result of believing, and being able to rationalize, that this is the best, and perhaps only way, to make things better for everyone - you loved ones, your friends, and the rest of the world, both present and future.
When one reaches that depth of depression, they become convinced that the only way out of the pain is death - it becomes so overwhelming that it completely engulfs your senses and thought. It is like riding a home-made raft on a great wave of destruction from the largest dam ever having burst instantly with a massive amount of painful, hate-filled explosives. Logically, you see and know the thought patterns arn't typical for you, but there is no rudder on the raft, the sail has ripped in the gail of banshees wailing the pain of those who have, are, and will die a painfull death. The roar of the water smashing against mountains that have stood the test of time and are now crumbling in the wake of your sadness. That is when you realize that death, which is not only enevitable, is a must. You can't stand the pain of guilt you feel at the destruction, pain, and illusion of joy you have created.
So yes, room-mate, you're right. Things do get better. When I die... so why not hasten the inevitable and finally do the right thing? Then things will get better for everyone - not only those I hurt, could possibly hurt, but myself as well.
Luckilly, many of us listen to our rational portion of our selves, and don't quit. But many times, sadly, there are those that can't hear. For those, I am sorry. I hope all people who get this close have someone to save them, as I did my self....