19 September 2006

We really do need our sleep...

Boy, do we need sleep. It can become a catch 22 for us - a cycle of not enough sleep leading to mania/hypo-mania, causing not enough sleep, which leads to...
I used to try to live on about 4 hours of sleep a day. Now, with the help of zyprexia, I am able to get around 6 to 7 hours. I know, according to standard belief, that isn't enough. However, I can still tell the difference between the longer and shorter amounts of sleep. I becomes really noticeable now to me when I have a day or two with about 5 hours of sleep. The mania sneaks past it's boundaries, testing, trying to become a 'controllable mania" - I am on the fine line between, on one side, even noticing the symptoms, with fully functioning and successful skill tactics on the other side. While I don't always try for this, it sometimes happens - the second wind always kicks in at night, making it hard for me to go to bed before 10-ish to 11-ish. Needing to get up in the mornings at a little before 6:00, and I barely have the sleep I need. Sometimes that wind blows a little too hard, filling the sails of creativity and spastic activity. [Hmm - makes me realize I want to further develop the "Trains of thought idea"] Anyway, I have been able to utilize that some, and develop plans for various furniture I would like to build, along with ideas for a RPG (role-playing game) I like to play. It can be wonderful, but it is also a dangerous line - one that can easily be crossed into full blown mania if I do not keep a careful check on it - and esp. difficult if I forget my meds that night.
It's almost a game for some, from those I talk have talked to about walking this line - seeing the flames on one side, the dying embers on the other side. It's a line that all of us need help with, I think, when we walk it - to help us see that we are, and/or to help us see that we have been walking it for a long time.
A mildly blissful state, none the less....

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These are the thoughts and feelings as they happen. The subject matter and verbage may be of a more mature nature, and may be considered sensitive by some. In respect for that, I shall try to remember to give headers (with some space before post) and attempt to just "suggest" sensitive verbage.

Peace, Blessings, I hope this can help some.