Infinity

Infinity -
The relative quantity of failures vs. successes I've accomplished in my life

1,000's of Trillions
The number of demons screaming in my guts

100 Trillion
The times I was able to beat and bloody them a bit
(unfortunately, not much though)

Billions - yes, still just billions, but close
The times I've listen to one of them

Millions -
The times it has immediately FUCKED UP ABSOLUTELY
The truly IMPORTANT things I needed to do -
over and over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER

and stop and I cant and slow down brain and oh no

100,000's of times
Ive listened to the guilt, the totally
irrational deceitful perception altering
pull me down into the sewer drain
slowly into the reservoir as the dam breaks
a lonely raft afloat on the tsunami of adrenaline too smart dumbshit
nuclear fusion of self hate

1,000 (at least, I'll stop there)
I've run faster than the gazelle down the path
screaming with open arms for my lover in pain
(please forgive the useless self)
into the rationalization - YES I CAN!!!!!!

100's of people and times
I explained, logically, reasonably, refined into being difficult to find fault
THE TRUTH - the RATIONAL reason

for death. Merede, Mensch and MFBS - damn it all to hell....

0 - null - The Empty Set
The Vast NOTHINGNESS whose fullness
is greater than the photonic filled Endlessness...
A dull, flat, black emptiness

is the worth I give myself