This post has some comments dealing with physical 'activities'. The subject matter below may be uncomfortable or taboo to some people, and some adults may want to censor this before allowing their children to read.
The subject is sexual drive and the private release of it.
It seems that I just can't get rid of this desire to masturbate. My sexual energy is extremely high right now, and I can't slow it down. It's not just the internet - there are other sources. TV - heck, news women, women in the shows, ads. Women I remember seeing on the street. Minor bi-sexual urges coming into the fuzzy background of conscious thought. The urge is there, slowing me down. It's not distracting me for hours like it used to, but still there a lot. Even with the meds and trying to refocus, there is too much strength in the urge - even Atlas and Hercules would have found it impossible to hold against the demonic tide of the horny sea.
I am trying to remember meds, I'm sure that's another part. Summer rain finally ending (?), allowing for more sunny days. Maybe I've just shifted to a more manic side of the mixed states - but I still have that strong melancholy strain going through my thoughts - a pleasantly haunting melody reminding me of the safety inside my head. Hiding from humanity and all of their lies, facade, dual standard hypocrisy, and the mere cud-chewing mentality.
It's a mess. Got some of the urge out, trying to get something done for work in an hour.