Somewhere I need the fire, the nuclear explosions again. Fussing the inner atoms of thought, sending out baryons of ideas in skewed, spiraling directions, passing through all available zeeman states.
(yea, okay, be technical, or philosophical. joining the two here is part of my art. deal with it)

Now to recover from the pain of last night. cut it out with a knife, make it look all pretty and red. and warm. feels so good, so relaxing, drift into euphoric forgetfullness. finally, i would have joy - forever. and if there is an afterlife, fuck it. deal with those rules there. learn them, rebel, and then get the power to use the system against itself. become a demon, devil, angel, deity, spirit guide, whatever. no hell worse than the one i live and daily create for myself and others, so i can deal with fixing that shit too.

Fuck me running. remember that H....r L from Larry-vile???

I've got to die. plain, simple. neat. easy. i don't care about fighting any more. no more. over. done with. toasty bye-bye "t"....

screw you, me and the paradigm. WITHOUT the vasaline