08 March 2010

It's been a while, sorry!

My goodness, a whole week!  I didn't even realize it passed by so much!  Had a busy week - stress agravating sinus problems by making it a horrible headache.  Hard to do anything, want to do anything, as you know.
I did have a fairly, I guess technically, rapid cycling period. Usually not that wishy washy, but fluctuated between depression and happiness, both over the same subject.  Did a stupid mistake, legally, because of the "sleep med" I use to aid me at night.  [Let me explain here: I have tried over the counter sleep aids, and they don't work.  The scripts I was given, between the amount of sleep (typicaly 10) and a sluggish fog hangover of about 2-3 hours, didn't work.  I had time for job, home, shower, eat, take meds, and about 1 hour left.  This other substance gets me to sleep, but doesn't have you at the "must sleep" state for long.  So it helps me get to sleep, but doesn't hang around for long, and doesn't have the slowdown in the morning.]
So....  with MO "we are such an awesome clean state that nothing bad happens in" image concerns are maintained by putting bad evil me in the jail, so that other felons can plea down to misdimeanors because the jails are too full....

That was one of the reasons I was depressed.  Some of the ramifications of this if it does go to the extreme.  Really wished I lived in a state with more understanding of it's use.  Love the study that just came out about long term pot users.  Psychosis.  POT IS EVIL.  How many of the man made drugs cause problems in years?  How does smoking pot daily compare to smoking ciggarettes daily?  What was the age of the study group when they first started smokin?  I have run across enough to know that people who start towards the end of thier puberty deal better and more "with it" than those who started early.  So, what's the deal, people?  Did you study all of these people before hand to know a base line?  So many questions that the drug companies and friends won't want answered.  Will have to try to see if the report was posted professionally or through school Master Programs.

But life has been pretty good.  Worked for 4 hours in the beautifull sunlight yesterday.  Made life wonderful, good, beautiful.  Hope all of you have been able to get out for extended periods of sunlight lately.  We really do need it!  (brb coffee n smoke break).
Back now.  Finally a nice day.  Get to "vacumm" up some leaves (leaf mulcher - looks like one of those large volume polishers or vacumms, and picks up the leaves, runs them through a shredder into a bag.  Should be fun!
I have some thinking to do yet, but for a few days have been contemplating the balance of proven and unproven, what it represents of the general and my psychie (in my opinion, of course), and the logical irrationality I am attempting to move through ~ due to my own weakness and lack of full understanding, NOT because it is neccessarially a mis-aplied concept in this situation.  (well, at least I think it isn't...)

Peace n Blessings,

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These are the thoughts and feelings as they happen. The subject matter and verbage may be of a more mature nature, and may be considered sensitive by some. In respect for that, I shall try to remember to give headers (with some space before post) and attempt to just "suggest" sensitive verbage.

Peace, Blessings, I hope this can help some.